Wife Life Mantra #1: Don’t Compromise Whenever Possible
My seventh wedding anniversary is today! This is surreal! Love is such an awesome, amazing phenomenon that I hope everyone reading this gets to experience. Between our first day as a married couple til now, I’ve picked up a lot of what I call ‘wifey wisdom’. The next seven blogs I post will feature wife life mantras that have impacted my marriage for the better. Most of them revolve around self expectations because how we treat ourselves is half the battle! The rest are little reminders about how to interact with your partner. Mantra #1 is ‘Don’t compromise whenever possible’. I know, this sounds contradictory to everything you’ve hear about relationships. Allow me to explain.
According to Psychology Today, we should negotiate. I came across an article they posted that said: In a negotiation, each person gets something in exchange for giving something their partner wants. In compromise, neither partner actually gets what they want. They often settle on some middle ground between two ends of an issue, with the result that neither is satisfied with the solution. —Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera Ph.D.
This really comes in handy when you’re making a major decision together. If you’re planning on purchasing a home or even lease an apartment, settling for a place that requires you both to give up something would suck. Neither of you would truly feel happy at home because that thing they gave up would be missing. It would be much better to find a place to fulfills both of your desires for a home. If you can’t find a place like that, the answer isn’t to settle; It’s to keep searching for your ideal love nest.
In our house, Brandon and I have an agreement when it comes to housework. Neither of us does the chores we hate. For me that means not doing the dishes, putting gas in the car or taking out the trash. Frankly those chores put me in a bad mood. Brandon actually finds dishwashing relaxing and takes care of gassing up the car and trash disposal so I don’t have to worry about it. On the other hand, Brandon doesn’t clean the bathroom, cook dinner or have to remember to change our bed/sofa linens.
Cooking for us gives me a chance to try new recipes and ensure Brandon’s eating healthy meals when he’s at home. The rest of the duties around the house are pretty evenly split between us. Negotiating how we wanted to keep the house clean allows us both to get what we want. It may seem silly but not compromising, even on the smallest issues like chores, can add a lot of happiness to your marriage.
The more marital advice, the merrier! Feel free to tweet or DM me your personal marriage mantras on Instagram. Keep an eye out for my next wife life mantra here on the blog!